Worst Russian Remakes - Part Two: Petrol Queen 2, Man from Capuchin Boulevard, Return of the Musketeers

Today, we're on to discuss the most ridiculous, the most misunderstood, the most worst (well, if you take into account at least their "astounding" ratings on the same Kinopoisk) Russian remakes and sequels cult classics. In the first part we have already had time to consider the resounding failure of the modern "Caucasian Captive" with its jokes about the Internet and gadgets, "The Heir" by Sasha Beloy, which the audience would gladly rename "the disgrace of the century", as well as "Gentlemen of Fortune" with "hipster" Sergei Bezrukov in the title role. What cultural upheavals waiting for us tonight?

And today we have prepared no less interesting selection - in our lens hit and "Musketeers.", и "Queen of the petrol station"and even a man from a very interesting boulevard. "Capuchinok."... However - about everything in order.

Petrol Queen 2 (2004)

Alexander Kirienko's brainchild, which viewers unanimously rated less than a 2 on Kinopoisk! And if you examine film commentaryIt is obvious that it will not brighten up your evening - rather the opposite: it will cause a storm of emotions, and exclusively negative....

"This is a laugh! The plot is so empty and naive that even children will be bored to watch it. Stop trying to cash in on old classics - you'll never come close to them, let alone overpower them..."

Well, pissing off the audience like that is still try harder. However, Kirienko and his team succeeded. The plot centres on Lyudmila, who fails the entrance exams to a theatre school. By the will of fate, she finds herself at a petrol station, and soon turns a run-down place into a whole entertainment complex! It would seem: the plot is not so bad. But it's only at first glance.

The film itself is really empty: no funny jokes, no epic scenes, no depth, no lyrics... In general - it's not quite clear for what purpose it was made at all? Yes, the original "Petrol Queen" is quite an old film. It doesn't shine with special effects, so to speak. But it's better to watch it, cos it's really there. soulas well as the talented actorswhose characters evoke real emotions and make the viewer laugh and feel sad. This "masterpiece", alas, can't say that about it.

The Man from Capuchin Boulevard (2009)

It's hard to say anything about this film at all... It's truly something and something! Director Alla Surikova decided to revive an old classic, bringing a modern twist to a cult story and spicing it up with a special humour... Audience rating - 1.3 points. Well, that's powerful. But what's the problem with the remake?

In the story, Masha Furst, Johnny Furst's granddaughter, comes to Russia to make a good film. She brings with her a large sum of money, which eventually becomes a problem - crooks find out about her, and then the whole thing begins. plot twist. Although the story presented on the screen can hardly be called a plot line - the whole film resembles a ramblingswhich we tried to put together in one pile. Well, actually, we hit the mark with the pile - the film was smashed to smithereens. The criticism was harsh - in some places, even too harsh....

"It's so absurd that at some point you catch yourself thinking that you just don't realise what you're even watching. It's ridiculous and nonsense that should have been disposed of as soon as filming was over!"

Yes, the comments of the audience (and critics, by the way, too) are harsh. But they are quite justified - the remake turned out to be about nothing. Fans of the original film will definitely not be interested in it - rather it will infuriate them. And the younger generation will simply find it a cartoonish nonsense, which is not worth wasting their time on. All in all - another futile attempt to cash in on old cinema and high-profile franchises....

"With a reasonably good budget, the creators have managed to make the most mediocre remake that gives you a headache from the very first minute..."

Return of the Musketeers (2009)

And to conclude our legendarily awful a list of remakes we've decided "Return of the Musketeers."which turned out to be a far cry from the applause....

We're sure the director Georgi Jungwald-Khilkevich had much higher hopes for this film. But in the end it didn't even reach 3 points on Kinopoisk, where one negative review is replaced by another (and so, it seems, to infinity). Though really - against the backdrop of all of the above, this remake isn't that bad! It's just that it's clearly falls short to the original - not even that: it didn't hit the bull's-eye, couldn't come close to what "The Musketeers" was loved for in its time. So it's more of a promotional error than a complete fiasco.

The situation wasn't even saved by taking part in the filming. "the original musketeers" - although, you have to admit, it's great to see your favourite actors! Fans, of course, appreciated it. But few could call this film "worthy". Well, it'll do for once....

"I wouldn't say it's that terrible. But the guys are very much not up to the original. In the end it turned out to be another passable film, which tomorrow will not remember...".